Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
