I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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