I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Randomize
