I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
