I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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