I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
