Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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