Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize