"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
