I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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