Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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