Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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