Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Plan B is the new Plan A
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
