I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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