Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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