I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
