Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
