At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
