im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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