That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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