I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
