in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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