she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
