have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
