Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
