THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
should my penis look like a turkey
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
