shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
