i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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