Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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