it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize