He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
