I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
