Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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