SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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