Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize