Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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