Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize