Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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