and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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