woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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