I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
A+ Viking dick
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
