Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
