We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
