It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
