I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
