I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
