ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
