Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
