Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize