you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
