Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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