I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
