margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
