I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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