smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
