Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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