I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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