good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
