1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
