and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
