Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
