You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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