everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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